


Advice

by neverlandlumos



Category: Bleach
Genre: Anal Sex, M/M, Some Plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-15
Updated: 2013-12-15
Packaged: 2018-01-03 08:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1068218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neverlandlumos/pseuds/neverlandlumos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ashisogi Jizō thinks Mayuri is lonely and decides to play matchmaker.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Advice

For the first time in a long, long time, the Captains of the Thirteen Court Guard Squads are asked to sit down with note pads and pens while being served cups of tea. Ukitake smiles broadly and delves right in, while Hitsugaya and Soifon raise their eyebrows suspiciously.

Mayuri ignores it all together and wishes the damn meeting would end already.

This meeting is a long one, a summary if all previous meetings and an elaboration of other topics the Captains can not go into detail during the weekly ones. Tiny, somewhat insignificant issues are brought up, causing tightly wound insults and insinuations and really, Mayuri just wants to go to sleep.

He takes a sip of tea and tries not to grimace.

Soifon brags needlessly about the stealth requirements if the other divisions, prompting Zaraki to bark down the tables like a baited dog, demanding the woman keep her opinions to herself and other such nonsense. Although very much in the right, the shinigami's booming voice brings on a headache Mayuri didn't even know he had.

He does not, however, miss the scathing remark about the members of the Department of Research and Development finding it unnecessary to carry their zanpakutō. Soifon also questions as to why, he, Mayuri himself, finds the need to carry one should the members of his division do not.

"I didn't realise this was an issue affecting the Second Division," he replies after a moment. He keeps his voice level.

Soifon scoffs, "We are all shinigami, here, Kurotsuchi. We all carry our zanpakutō."

"Oh?" He sneers, "If we are all shinigami, then it would be wise that you show some camaraderie instead of alienating your own division."

She seethes behind gritted teeth, and the topic moves on. Mayuri sighs inwardly when more boring issues come up but jots them down for show, knowing Yamamoto is watching their pen strokes carefully. Not carefully enough, however, as Zaraki has taken the time to draw a naked woman being decapitated whilst roaming some hills.

He takes another sip of tea and stares at the clock. 

Central 46 and their foolhardy decision making regarding the law system is brought up, focusing on the poorer areas of the Rukon District. Although from the poorest of areas, Zaraki does not go out of his way to defend the place. Mayuri, personally, believes that a more thorough effort be taken: there could be some very promising individuals who would make excellent shinigami. 

Money and resources, Yamamoto always says, we need the money and resources.

Mayuri takes a large gulp of his tea, grateful the last of it is significantly hotter than the beginning.

_Master Mayuri, I think you should get a girlfriend. I think you're getting lonely._

The tea shoots out of Mayuri's mouth before he can stop it, alarming everyone in the room as well as himself. He coughs frantically - some of it going down the wrong way - and tries to clear his throat. His eyes water at the strain, and pays no attention to the numerous stares from his peers.

"Captain Kurotsuchi," Yamamoto calls, failing pitifully at hiding his amusement, "Is everything alright?"

"I-I'm fine," he croaks out, pointedly ignoring the maid who comes in and cleans up the offending tea. He coughs a few more times before Yamamoto continues on.

_Ashisogi Jizō, I do not believe that now is an appropriate time for that conversation._

_But you never wanna talk about it._

Mayuri ignores the childish voice and denies another cup of tea as though the maid is trying to serve him poison.

_Is it 'cause you want a boyfriend?_

He feels his eye twitch, and for the first time since they arrived here, Mayuri tries to focus on the meeting. Much to his dismay, little has changed, with Kuchiki delivering his opinion on the lack of education in the poorest district in his usual aloof manner.

 _Master Mayuri,_ Ashisogi Jizō persists, in a sing-song, _Do you want a boyfriend?_

_No, Ashisogi Jizō. I do not want a boyfriend or a girlfriend._

_I don't believe you. You shouldn't tell fibs._

_Be quiet, you! We will talk about this later!_

He catches the last of the conversation before it's his turn to voice his opinion. He rests his chin on his hand.

"Everyone deserves an education, no matter where they live. Some of those residents do not know how to read or write. Appalling."

Mayuri receives a murmur of agreement from Unohana and Ukitake, as well as Kyroku and Hitsugaya. 

_Master Mayuri!_ Ashisogi Jizō yells in his inner world, causing the pen that Mayuri was twirling in between two fingers to fly out of his grip and unceremoniously collide with Kyoroku's kneecap. He raises his hands in mock defence and sheaths and unsheathes his sword in an attempt to disturb the flow of reaitsu. 

_Ashisogi Jizō. I demand that you stop being so disruptive._

_No._

No? _No?_ Mayuri scoffs at the nerve of him. Yamamoto calls out, "Captain Kurotsuchi, is something the matter?"

He considers lying, but since Ashisogi Jizō has plainly stated that he shouldn't tell fibs, he decides to settle with, "My zanpakutō is... well, bored, and he is... hassling me per say." He waves a dismissive hand, "It happens. Terribly sorry, Head Captain."

"I thought with the amount of poison you make that thing ingest it would adhere to your demands," Soifon says.

"Ingest? I do not follow," Mayuri retorts.

_You tell her, Master Mayuri!_

He ignores the throbbing vein pulsing at his temple and gnashes his teeth together in irritation.

"How else does your zanpakutō make that poison?"

"Oh, well, now," Mayuri grins, rudely, "I'm not going to tell you that. After all, Ashisogi Jizō is _my_ zanpakutō."

_She's a meanie. I don't like her._

_Me neither. Now, go back to sleep._

_M'kay. Hey, Master Mayuri, did you want a banana?_

_No, thank you, Ashisogi Jizō._

Mayuri honestly tries not to smash his face against the desk. He heard from Abarai about the whole incident regarding Zabimaru and Senbonzakura, and how Ashisogi Jizō caused the majority of the damage to one of the many buildings in the Twelfth Divison. He also informed Mayuri of how Ashisogi Jizō very helpfully offered the small party numerous bananas instead of opening the reinforced glass.

The meeting wraps up a dreary hour and a half later, and Mayuri rushes back to his lab with every intention of having a nap. When he arrives, he rests his notes on his desk, acknowledging Akon with raised eyebrows and chin. "What is it?"

"Results from the experiment yesterday, Master Mayuri," Akon seems to realise that Mayuri is tired, and holds onto the reports, "Oh, I'm sorry, sir. Would you prefer some rest?"

Mayuri hums, "Yes. I trust you and Nemu will stay on top of things?"

Akon gives him a reassuring grin and turns to leave before Mayuri scrunches up his nose and flares his reaitsu, "You have not been smoking in my laboratory, have you, Akon?"

"No, sir!" The third seat exclaims, and takes off.

_Smoking is bad for you. And smelly._

_Yes, Ashisogi Jizō, it is, thank you for your input._

**

"Why can't I send my lieutenant? This mission hardly requires my skills. My daughter is more than able to complete this task," Mayuri demands.

Yamamoto heaves a dreary sigh, as though he is conversing with a badly behaved toddler.

"I trust in your abilities completely, Captain Kurotsuchi and that is the difference. I have asked you to investigate these strange occurrences, and therefore you will be the one to do so," the old man states, his tone soft, but leaving no room for argument.

Mayuri doesn't want to go. So he doesn't let it slide easily.

"Well," he retorts, "I need to make a gigai, and such things take time."

Yamamoto fixes him an uncomfortable smile, "Oh, never mind that. I have made arrangements with Kisuke Urahara on your behalf. The gigai will be waiting at his place of residence."

Mayuri tries not to blow a goddamn fuse. The last thing he needs is that smug jerk gallivanting about with his stupid hat and shoes and fan telling Mayuri he's made a more superior gigai. He narrows his eyes at the old man.

"Fine," he spits between gritted teeth. He turns on his heel and storms out of the First Division barracks like a bull in a china shop.

_Do you want Kisuke Urahara to be your boyfriend?_

Mayuri yells, "Ashisogi Jizō!" and shuts his eyes when he realises he's shouted it aloud. The shinigami in the street jump away from him in surprise, some actually looking terrified. They glance at his sheathed zanpakutō, probably expecting his bankai to materialise before them and kill them all.

_Master Mayuri, don't be silly. They can't hear me._

He materialises in his inner world and shakes a fist about in anger. Ashisogi Jizō greets him with a squeal, either uncaring of his Master's fury or just down right oblivious to it. Mayuri glares at it. He opens his mouth to scold the misbehaving brat of a thing before he's pulled back to reality by _another_ childish yell.

"Mayurin!"

Oh, for fuck's sake, not her.

"Hello, Lieutenant Kusajishi," he manages, still positive there is steam coming out of his ears.

"What's the matter?" She cocks her head to the side, "You look upset!"

 _She's right. You need a boyfriend!_ Ashisogi Jizō chortles.

"Nothing, child," he replies, softly, and looks around. "Where is Zaraki?"

He'd spoken too soon, as barely seconds later, her adoptive father in seen at the end of the street, his reaitsu becoming more noticeable now that he's away from the crowd.

"What's goin' on here?" He asks Yachiru.

"Nothing!" Mayuri answers for her and uses some precise flash step to flee the scene.

**

Mayuri sneers when he arrives at the front of Urahara's Candy Shop and tries not to grind his teeth to dust. Or, set the place on fire.

_Master Mayuri, let's go! Go! Go! Go!_

_What is with you, these past couple of days? You've been very chatty._

_And you've been very lonely,_ Ashisogi Jizō informs him, nodding his head like a wisely priest, _Let's go! Go! Go!_

_Will you be quiet? Goodness me, you're giving me a headache!_

He gets a squeal in return.

Mayuri rolls his shoulders and walks over to the shop, pointedly ignoring the surprise slacking Tessai's features and waits for one of the brats hanging around to find Urahara. Mayuri frowns to himself. Ashisogi Jizō flies around carelessly in his inner world, playing with butterflies. There never used to be _butterflies_ in his inner world. His zanpakutō seems extraordinarily pleased with the change.

"Mayuri Kurotsuchi," Kisuke drawls from behind him, "What a pleasure it is, having you here at my humble abode."

"Urahara," he replies, shortly. "I trust you have something for me."

"Of course," Kisuke fans himself, smiling goofily, "Right this way."

The gigai, much to Mayuri's disgust, is a stroke away from the dreaded perfection. Mayuri stares at it for a moment, at its bare face, the sharp arch of the eyebrows. He can't remember what his ears used to look like, but the ones Urahara has created fit the face well. His oddly coloured blue hair grows all the way to the back of its head.

He slips inside the confining cage and winces at the uncomfortableness of it all. It has been a long time since he has used a gigai. Kisuke raises his eyebrows and pours him a cup of tea. Mayuri runs a hand over the pointless face in discomfort.

"So, humour me, how have you been?" Urahara asks, watching him carefully under the brim of his hat.

Mayuri cracks his neck and attempts to say, "Good," but Ashisogi Jizō interrupts him with _lonely_ and he ends up replying with something of a combination of both. Mayuri braces his hands on the table and clears his throat.

"Lonely?" Kisuke echoes.

Mayuri's eyes widen, "Look, Ashisogi Jizō is being a pain in the arse and interrupting everything I think and say. Don't think anything of it."

"Zanpakutō are a reflection of our soul," Kisuke says, knowingly, and continues before Mayuri can retort, "If he says you're lonely, then you're lonely."

"Shut up, Urahara."

_See? See? I told you so!_

He pinches the bridge of his nose harshly. Kisuke pours him a cup of tea and pushes it toward him. The previous day's events are still very clear in his mind, what with spraying tea all over the place during the meeting, and eyes the cup warily.

Kisuke grins, "I didn't poison it," he states and takes a leisurely gulp for show.

Mayuri takes a sip, relieved when Ashisogi Jizō is still preoccupied by the new butterflies. 

Urahara pushes a folder of pages toward him, and Mayuri recognises the label attached, and the reason why he is here in the first place. According to Kurosaki, there has been a massive increase of Hollow activity within Karakura, prompting the idea of previously undetected Garganta. 

Mayuri doesn't care. He wants to go home.

_Watch your strength. Don't kill any of them._

Ashisogi Jizō blinks slowly, cupping a victim in his grubby hands. He nods twice and flies around.

"You're very distracted," Kisuke notes, smiling softly.

"Hmm," Mayuri absentmindedly replies, still watching carefully as his zanpakutō attempts to catch another butterfly, the previous one escaping.

"Is it because you're lonely?"

"What?" Mayuri barks, "No! Just leave it, Urahara."

Urahara smirks like a cheshire cat, but lets the subject drop. He points to the file with his stupid fan and begins fanning himself unnecessarily. "I'm supposed to be assisting you with this task."

Mayuri's eyes bulge, "Whatever for? If you're here, and supposedly helping, surely, you could have finished this task by yourself, and I would not be here."

"Yamamoto's orders," Kisuke replies simply.

Mayuri feels his eyebrow twitching, furiously. He flings open the file viciously and begins to read. Once he reaches the end of the report, he's tempted to throw the stupid thing across the room and set it on fire with kidō. Kurosaki is a fucking moron, and for that matter, so is Yamamoto. There is no new Garganta. The old one has simply _moved._

He meets Kisuke's eyes, who has a rather knowing expression about him.

"Urahara!" Mayuri yells, reaitsu spiking and making the walls shake, "Why did you not say this whole mission was a misunderstanding in the first place?"

 _Oh! Master Mayuri! Master Mayuri!_ Ashisogi Jizō squeals, _Maybe he wants you to be his boyfriend!_

_Oh. My. God. Ashisogi Jizō, be quiet. I am sick of hearing this fucking nonsense. Keep it down or I will kill the butterflies myself and make you watch!_

Ashisogi Jizō's face falls, looking at Mayuri in his inner world with a mixture of shame on Mayuri's behalf and annoyance. _That's not very nice, Master Mayuri._

Mayuri scoffs. _Why are you so surprised?_

His zanpakutō doesn't reply, but Urahara does, with a humoured, "I only realised before you arrived. Scout's honour, Mayuri."

"What is that?" Mayuri queries, but then raises a hand to cut the other shinigami off. "Don't tell me. I don't need to know."

He rises to a stand and begins withdrawing his body from the gigai with considerable effort.

"What are you doing?" Kisuke asks.

"Going home," Mayuri snaps, tugging harshly with little success. He really has forgotten how constricting these stupid things are.

"You can't," Urahara tells him happily, "You are required to stay in the world of the living until the new Garganta was dealt with. Meaning, a new Senkimon hasn't opened on the other side yet."

Mayuri fumes viciously, retracting from the body with enough force the gigai tumbles some feet away from him. He cannot believe what he is hearing. He can feel Urahara's amusement at the entire situation and bellows, "What is this? What the fuck are you trying to tell me, eh, Urahara? That I'm stuck here with _you_?"

_Is that really a bad thing, Master Mayuri? You could spend some time with -_

Mayuri cuts the zanpakutō spirit off with a howled, "Ashisogi Jizō!" and only then realises he's holding the hilt of his sword. He finds himself face-to-face with the damn brat, who blinks at him as though he hasn't been driving Mayuri up the goddamn wall all day.

"Stop it!" He barks, spit flying everywhere. He taps his foot with enough force it shakes the table next to it, " _I do not want a fucking boyfriend!"_

Ashisogi Jizō squawks at him. Then, daringly, ignores him and begins chomping loudly on some biscuits on the table.

"Ah!" Mayuri pokes him at the back of his head rudely, forcing the little spirit forward, "You can't talk when you're like this, can you?"

He's about to laugh, when he hears Ashisogi Jizō's voice flutter through his mind.

_You're so silly, Master Mayuri._

Kisuke watches the entire scene with a broad, unpleasant smile on his face. Mayuri stomps over to the gigai and slips back inside, knowing the other shinigami's reasoning is all too true, and that he will have to wait until another Senkimon opens on the other side. He doesn't move from where he flung it earlier.

_Are you… sulking?_

"Shut up."

_But, Master -_

"Eat the biscuits. Do not break anything. Stop talking."

Ashisogi Jizō squeaks at him with an air of hostility and does as he is told.

"Shut up, Urahara," he snaps as well. Urahara raises his hands in mock defence and begins fanning himself again. He helps Ashisogi Jizō hold the cup to his lips to take a measured sip.

 _How nice of him, eh, Master Mayuri!_ The zanpakutō sing-songs, and pats the back of Kisuke's hand in appreciation.

Mayuri's eyebrow twitches.

"Fine," Mayuri snaps. "I want to rest."

Urahara's smile broadens, almost splitting his face at the force of it. "I have some unexpected guests. You will have to sleep in my room."

Ashisogi Jizō's eyes widen to ridiculous proportions. Mayuri aims a swift kick at the back of his head, but the creature avoids it easily, perching himself on Mayuri's shoulders.

"… together. I didn't think you'd mind," Kisuke finishes, and Mayuri wonders when he zoned out the conversation.

"Excuse me?" Mayuri yelps uncharacteristically, "Why did you think I wouldn't mind?"

"Aw, we've known each other so long!" Urahara says easily, "All those years of working together…"

**

Mayuri grits his teeth harshly. Urahara doesn't even have a damn futon, and now Mayuri is sharing a bed with the very last person in existence that he'd ever want to. The other shinigami shifts around in his sleep, waking Mayuri every time, and whatever rest he wanted is disturbed. Ashisogi Jizō sleeps peacefully on top of him, head resting against Mayuri's chest, the little wings fluttering every so often. He's used to this, how Ashisogi Jizō sleeps. Urahara, on the other hand, not so much.

He runs a hand over the crown of his zanpakutō's head absentmindedly. He normally lets Ashisogi Jizō fly about the laboratory, or sleep in the material world as he isn't called for battle as often as his fellow captains. Ordinarily, he likes the peace and quiet. The creature doesn't normally talk so often.

"He's cute," Kisuke drawls, "If not a little scary."

"Scary?" Mayuri whispers back, peering down at the sleeping head resting on his abdomen, "How is he scary?"

Kisuke raises himself up on one elbow and blatantly moves closer, entering Mayuri's personal space without a care in the world. "Uh, Mayuri, he may be little, but he spits poison and paralyses people."

"And?" He raises an eyebrow.

Urahara smirks back, but lets the subject drop. He does, however, raise a more sensitive one.

"Answer me this, honestly, Mayuri. Are you lonely?"

Mayuri sneers, "Why should I answer that?"

"I'm concerned about you," Urahara replies, peering down at him.

"Shut up," he reaches for his sword and calls Ashisogi Jizō back into it. The creature doesn't object and allows the pull of the sword, barely waking in the process. Mayuri turns on his side and pointedly ignores the other shinigami, back facing him. "No. I am not lonely. Shut up and let me sleep."

"Mayuri," Urahara whines.

"Be quiet," Mayuri buries his face in the pillow.

_G'night, Master Mayuri._

_Good night, Ashisogi Jizō._

_But I don't think you'll be sleeping much._

Mayuri clenches the pillow viciously with a fist and whacks Urahara in the face with it. The other shinigami yelps at the sudden attack.

"Stop being so damn weird, Urahara. You are pissing me off!"

"What?" Kisuke retorts incredulously, "I am _concerned_ about you. How long have I known you? And all of a sudden, Ashisogi Jizō is putting words in _your_ mouth _for_ you? C'mon, Mayuri."

He changes tactics, snatching back his pillow and covering his own face. Mayuri feels Kisuke prying it away and after a rather lame tug-of-war over the pillow, Kisuke looms over him. There is a leer in his gaze and Mayuri backs away the best he can.

"What do you think you're doing?" He snaps, "Having sex with someone won't make them less lonely, you moron."

"Oh?" Kisuke raises an eyebrow and shifts bodily so he lays between Mayuri's legs. Mayuri balks at the sheer audacity of him. "So you admit it, then."

He raises a leg and bends it deeply, pressing a foot against the other's chest in an attempt to push him off. Kisuke catches it and levers it upward, so his leg is perched over a shoulder. Mayuri twists his leg, making a rather lame excuse for a kick, but Urahara stops him easily, again.

"I didn't know you were so… flexible, Mayuri," Kisuke drawls.

"… why are you naked? For goodness' sake, Urahara!" Mayuri splutters, trying to weasel his way out from underneath him and coming up short. He never realised that the other shinigami had such a height and body mass difference over him.

"It's my bed and I always sleep naked," Kisuke confirms, pressing firm hands against Mayuri's hips, pinning him to the bed with embarrassing ease. He's got some kind of doe eyed expression going on and Mayuri sighs heavily.

Urahara grins down at him, looking everything like he's won a prize. Mayuri sneers and snaps, "Are you actually going to do _something_ or do you just enjoy hearing the sound of your own voice?"

"Hmmm," is the reply he gets.

Mayuri is tempted to punch his old captain in the face and return to the world of the living -- Senkiamon or not -- but it seems that Kisuke has decided to actually do something. He guides Mayuri's legs to wrap around his waist with a rather surprising gentle hold and kisses him forcefully.

He plays along easily enough, Mayuri can't deny that having another's body touching his own is stimulating and very welcomed, and allows Kisuke to kiss him as thoroughly as he wishes. He supposes that he cares little for sex until he's actually about to have it.

Kisuke tongues the line of his jaw before suckling at his neck and collarbone. He bites sharply at Mayuri's pulse, causing Mayuri to buck his hips at the tiny pain, and forces a moan back down his throat as Kisuke runs his tongue over the sore.

One of Kisuke's hands leaves his body and comes back with a tube of lubricant. Mayuri barely blinks and his shirt is gone -- and it doesn't take long for Kisuke's fingers to rub and tug at his nipples, his thumbs following the grooves of his scars that are littered all over his chest.

Mayuri lifts his hips when Kisuke slides his hands down his back and over his arse, tugging his borrowed pajamas down his legs and to the side. He attempts not to shrink away in self consciousness -- it has been a long time since he's allowed anyone to strip him naked -- and settles back against the futon.

He watches Urahara's face carefully. A smug sense of pride flares in his gut when he sees the flush of arousal across Kisuke's cheeks, his lips parted as he pants softly.

Mayuri reaches up and cups the back of his head and forces him down for a kiss. A surprised whimper _almost_ escapes him when he feels pressure against his entrance and a firm grip on his cock but relaxes his tense muscles that seized up from the shock. Kisuke hums appreciatively against his mouth and pulls away.

The clicking sound of the lubricant echoes loudly in the room; as does the squelchy sound of its contents being spread on Kisuke's hand and slick finger slides inside of him, gently, and Mayuri breathes heavily through his nose at the unusual though not unfamiliar feeling.

"Hmm?" Kisuke grunts. Mayuri is tempted to roll his eyes at the lack of a vocalised question but decides to roll his hips instead, letting the other shinigami know he can proceed.

Kisuke kisses him quickly and slides two, then three fingers inside and brushes against the wall of his prostate. Mayuri's leg jerks at the sudden pleasure and feels his cock harden against his abdomen.

"Ready?"

Mayuri tuts his tongue when Kisuke's fingers withdraw from his body. "Today would be nice."

Kisuke smiles and lines himself up, resting a firm hand on Mayuri's hip and he slides the head of his cock inside.

Mayuri neck arches, his head hitting the pillow as Kisuke pushes until he is entirely sheathed, balls presses against Mayuri's body.

 _"Ah,"_ he gasps, temporarily overwhelmed. His hand -- that has somehow wrapped itself around Kisuke's forearm -- tightens, before sliding down to rest on Kisuke's thigh that is under his own.

"Fuck, Mayuri," Kisuke moans, "You're so _tight."_

"Move it," Mayuri orders. He tightens his legs and crosses them at the ankle.

His toes curl as Kisuke thrusts forward and back, growing more and more confident. The angle is slightly off; almost hitting his prostate but not and Mayuri narrows his eyes and glares up at Kisuke.

"More to the left, Urahara," Mayuri tells him, letting out a yelp when Kisuke does just _that_ with more force than he has all evening. His back arches has the pleasure continues, Kisuke relenting none now that he's found it and braces his weight on his hands and pumps, hard.

Mayuri moans loudly and bites his lip, hands digging into Kisuke's sweat-slick back. The other shinigami groans and pants in Mayuri's ear, the ever present sound of skin slapping skin reverberates through the room -- he hopes Kisuke made up whatever he said regarding having guests, because really, they are being loud -- and reaches down to jack his own cock when Kisuke's hand slaps his away.

He isn't given any time to protest, because Kisuke caresses the head of his cock with sure, gentle strokes and Mayuri manages a mangled, "Kis - _kay!"_ before orgasm surges through his body, the euphoria and pleasure unlike any drug he could ever make and pointedly ignores the come that splashes against his abdomen.

Kisuke grunts, hips thrusting jerkily, his overworked prostate perks up eagerly despite his cock being drained, but it doesn't stop the moan that slips out when he feels Kisuke's release shooting inside of him.

The other shinigami all but collapses on top of him -- all elbows and knees and annoyingly heavy -- and begins to doze. Mayuri scoffs and pinches Kisuke's ear harshly.

"Go get me a cloth," he orders, smirking with satisfaction when Kisuke does as he is told, lumbering out of the futon with next to no grace. It's thrown back at him, landing unceremoniously in his face but cleans up his stomach anyway.

"Go to sleep," he tells Kisuke, who kisses him noisily and sloppily before tugging more than his share of the blanket up to his chin and doing just that.

Mayuri does the same and drifts off to sleep.

_I don't think I want you getting a boyfriend, now, Master Mayuri. It's too noisy._ Ashisogi Jizō whines, covering his ears. 

Mayuri grits his teeth and ignores the brat, trying not to remind himself that zanpakutō know _everything._


End file.
